The ins and outs of a young library media specialist's life. Rock, rock on.

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Something Strange Is Afoot

There is something that circulates in the aromatherapy-scented air of my gym that is intoxicating, addictive. There's absolutely no other reason why I would feel as though it is a respite to go there every day, why I dream of the locker room replete with lotions and body washes and classical music softly piped in on Bose speakers. No real explanation for why I am addicted to the awesomely hardcore alternative music rocking out the cardio room while a staff member hands out warm towels for us to wipe our sweaty necks. And the classes- do I want to take African Dance? Iyengar yoga? Urban rebounding? Stott pilates? Yes, yes, a thousand times yes! Sign me up. Sign me up for all of it. Why? Because I can.

What exactly is it that makes this gym more hypnotic than a room full of pendulum pocket watches? I couldn't tell you. I mean, yeah, so I pay $80 a month to luxuriate in the eucalyptus steam room. That's just money, right? And yes, they have a giant whirlpool and a sauna and an eMac in case you need to check your email while at the gym. And I guess running on a treadmill in a warm gym with a personal tv playing first-run movies beats running outside in the arctic cold on the uneven bike path.

But I have a feeling that it's something more. I think it all comes down to my last experience at the Ghetto Gym. At the Ghetto Gym, I would be interrupted during my run by the owner asking me if I could answer the phone and check people in while he went out to pick up his son. The Ghetto Gym was housed on the second floor of a large warehouse with no air conditioning while indoor soccer and lacrosse leagues screamed below. The Ghetto Gym had toilets that overflowed into the locker room on a daily basis and a staff that watched movies upstairs in the breakroom while their friends came and went, stopping in only to grunt at you in your tank top and take a swig of Red Bull before departing. The Ghetto Gym was the ninth circle of gym hell and I've finally made it to the big gym heaven in the sky. Thank you, Gods of Fitness.

Monday, February 27, 2006

O Frabjous Day!

NPW is back, homies! You know what that means... winter vacation is truly, irrevocably, definitely over. Done. Finito. I won't lie: I'm a little sad at it's passing. Waking up at noon is just as nice now as it was back in the old college days. And these 7 weeks are going to be a long haul till the next break. But guess what? Dreaded February is almost over too, and that means spring is just around the corner. I am happy to announce: this morning when I left for work it was the first time since October that the sun was already up.

I thought I would be dreading the return to school just a little bit, but I found I was happy to get back in here. The puffer fish did their dance of joy at my return, merrily clicking their razor teeth together (so what if they thought I would feed them brine shrimp?), the kids happily turned off Blades of Death II in my presence, and the stacks of returned overdue books brought a smile to my face.

Could there even be a better job than this?

Wednesday, February 22, 2006


No, I'm not talking about the motto for the state of Maine. I'm talking about the blessed event known as winter vacation. So far, this break has been just shy of perfection and only makes me look forward to April break even more. Not that I don't love my job- you all know I am super librarian by now- but vacation is a time to do all the things you can't seem to find time to do all week long. Like watch Price is Right in your pajamas. Or go for a run at noon. Or shop at the mall for 6 hours straight.

I've been a little neglectful of the old blogaroo this week, I was taking a little break from my weekly norm. But I missed my audience, and my ego wants to think you missed me too.

My end of the week plans have been stymied, but I am sure my sudden availability will result in a million and one invites to fabulous parties all over the city. In fact, I already got invited to a concert and a dinner party tonight. So... although my disappointment lies heavy I think I'll make it through, and maybe even manage to enjoy the rest of my freedom.

Today I went with my cousin to her ultrasound appointment. For those of you who have only ever seen ultrasounds on television (much like me, only a few short hours ago), let me tell you: it's one of the scariest, coolest, most emotional things I have ever seen. There was another HUMAN, a relative of mine, growing inside my cousin. I'm sure for her these ultrasounds are old hat, but I had to catch my breath more than once. It also made me realize something: I know I'll want one of my own. Someday. I'm not ready yet, but I will be. And I'm sure when I am it will be just as amazing and scary and cool.

Happy vacation week, people. I'll try to update soon but I can't be held responsible for being MIA when there are so many movies and so much music to catch up on.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Going For The Gold

The library gold, that is. If there were medals being given out for amazing feats of library efforts I would surely be standing on that gold medal platform with the U.S. flag being raised, while the Star Spangled Banner played quietly in the background. I'd be blinking back tears, my throat a little constricted. I'd proudly bend down to accept the highest honor they could bestow upon a humble media specialist, all in the name of my country. Will someone please call Torino and demand a cataloging category in the next winter Olympics? I'm ready for some glory and fame.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006


These are some exciting times when yours truly gets recruited for the annual Adult Spelling Bee Team. Not to worry, friends, I won't let you down- I will be Queen of the Bee and I'll get that gold medal that was taken from me in sixth grade by that jerk, Emily A.

Apparently our school is on a three year winning streak, but everyone on the team retired last year. So the pressure is on. My performance could prove or disprove the theory that strong readers are strong spellers. The security and sanctity of my position as librarian hangs in the balance. Or maybe I'm just going to spell everyone's pants off. Boo yeah!

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Making All Your Wildest Dinner Reservation Dreams Come True

It has arrived! At long last: Valentine's Day is here. Despite much protesting I have already received no fewer than 3 boxes of Convo Hearts- all of which can now be found in my garbage. Touché, Mr. "Be Mine".

To celebrate this most holy of romantic occasions, I have compiled the long-anticipated list of the best and worst calendar year holidays. You may want to print this page out and live by it. In fact, I give you full copyright permission to just cut this out and gluestick it directly into your day planner.

Best of the Best: Looking Ahead To 2006

1. Groundhog Day: February 2
Punxatawney Phil and his shadow have long been our only scientific way of proving that spring will, in fact, grace our good lands. It's just too bad the little rodent has decreed six more weeks of winter for the last 5 years in a row.

2. Guy Fawkes Day: November 5
Any holiday where you can burn a homemade effigy in a giant bonfire works for me. I've started an email chain letter to petition this becoming an official holiday in the U.S.; when you get it, make sure to forward it on to Congress. We can pick another figurehead to burn, I don't really care. I just want the fire. Marhsmallows, anyone?

3. April Fool's Day: April 1
Yells of "Gotcha!" and peals of laughter echoing through the hall. It's a librarian's heaven. I think this year I'll pull every one of my 15,000 books off the shelves into a giant pile in the middle of the library and tell the kids to reshelve them. Then yell "gotcha!" and chuckle inwardly.

4. Halloween/Thanksgiving: Various
The fall holidays are the best. For obvious reasons. If they are not so obvious, refer back to my posts from Oct. and Nov.

5. Fourth of July: July 4
Nothing's more American pie than the fourth of July. Loving the fourth of July may be hokey, but it redeems me for my complete lack of interest in the Olympics. Bonus: fireworks=fire. See above.

Big Black X Days: Days to Beware 2006

1. Christmas Day: December 25
If you read pretty much any entry from my blog in the month of December, you will need no explanation as to why Christmas counts as the blackest day of the year. However, I am willing to admit that this past Christmas was especially disheartening, so maybe 2006 will be it's year to shine. Maybe I will be overcome with the spirit of Christmas. Maybe I'll be visited by three ghosts in the night and they will make me repent of my wicked ways. Or maybe it will be Major Suckfest 2006. Only time will tell.

2. Valentine's Day: February 14
Cupid reaches into his quiver for an arrow laced with Love Potion #9. His bow arches, the string pulled taut. A blur of red rushing at you. Whoosh! A direct hit to the heart. You are now in love. You must buy $97 worth of Hallmark merchandise and glut yourself with heart/blob-shaped Marshmallow Peeps. Why? Because it is your destiny. You are a sucker for love. But don't fret; we are all in this together. Even I, cynic as I am, have fallen prey to the conventions of this ill-conceived holiday.

3. Cinco de Mayo: May 5
Inferior cousin to the Day of the Dead (November 2). That, coupled with an unimaginative name send me running far, far away from the nearest cantina. Not a single sip of Corona will pass these lips. I have even boycotted limes. I'm getting my taqueria fix in now; once May rolls in it's all Asian, all the time.

4. Labor Day: 1st Monday in September
Signaling the end of my summer vacation and the movement of white capri pants from haute couture to fashion faux pas.

5. Boxing Day: December 26
With an already sizable black hole in my heart from the previous day's festivities, Boxing Day propels red line businesses back into the black and fills me with a shopping anxiety like I have never known before. "What if I can never get an orange sequined tank top for $6 ever again? I'm missing opportunities here! SALES!"

While some of you may be looking for a more complete list, ordered numerically from best to worst, I would urge you to develop your own personalized list. Maybe you like yourself a little cerveza on the fifth of May. Or maybe you're totally into pine-scented eggnog and strands of colored lights strewn through your bushes. Who am I to judge the powerful mysteries of national holidays?

Oh, and Happy V-Day!

Monday, February 13, 2006

The Countdown Begins

No, not the countdown to the notorious B.I.G. pink and red fluffy-hearted rose-scented card and candy holiday that tops everyone's romance list. I am speaking of the countdown to WINTER VACATION! Honestly, is there any better work system than education? Just when you think you might not possibly be able to take any more, there's a little mini-break coming up. And when the weather's nice? Summer vacay! Months of glorious freedom.

And this vacation promises to be loads of fun, in a loosely unorganized way. Monday hails the first annual Freedom Trail Pub Crawl, not to be outdone by game night, some madcap DDR, and a few nights of live music thrown in for good measure. Come Thursday I will be making the trek to upstate NY in an attempt to de-snobify myself from the greater New England area, and there I will gain rock star status in yet another state.

After today, 4 more days of library livin' and I'm ready for some play time.

Friday, February 10, 2006

Agnostic Is The New Jewish

Spending four years of my impressionable teens and twenties at a school populated by an estimated 65% Jewish singles may have caused irreparable damage, if I weren't such a stalwart type of gal. Never in my high school days could I have conceived an entire campus of short men and yet there it was, shocking me anew every day as I walked to class. Granted, I could easily spot people in crowds from my view on high, but something was missing.

On the other hand, these Jews knew how to party it up, Friday night-style. Shabbat dinner and no electricity? Count me in. My roommates used to tape the light switches up for me so I wouldn't forget and leave them in the dark until Saturday's sunset. Seriously, though, the idea of gathering friends together on the weekends for food and drinks and entertainment is age-old. I do it, you do it. Everyone enjoys a sense of community. Unless you're anti-social. Or agorophobic. Regardless, nix the Torah and Agnosticism is the new Judaism... but you get to eat cheeseburgers. Who's in?

Thursday, February 09, 2006

The View From Up Here

It is deceptively pretty outside. That is, until you open the door and the arctic wind whips into your eyeballs and you are blinded by cold, frozen tears. I expected this of you, February, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.

No, I am not talking about the weather just for the sake of (poor) conversation. I am talking about the weather as a metaphor for life. On the outside, looking down on us from, say, the moon, I'm sure the Earth is a very pretty little sphere, all blues and greens and wispy white clouds. You'd have no clue that there were terrible things like poverty or disease or U2. But once you get right up in here, all down on the ground, you become blinded. Mayhap by a cold wind, or mayhap by the general confusion that is day to day life. But unlike Mr. Cold-Ass February and his wicked winds, I love life. It's confusion is part of what makes everything interesting; it keeps possibility and hope bubbling up from strange places.

Those of you who know me know that I'm not usually mopey and I don't ever stay mad for long. It just so happens that every year around February, I get the moody blues and have to snap myself out of it. So basically what I'm trying to say is: this year I don't need to be snapped out of it. Because I have awesome things happening all around me and awesome people to share it with. It's out there- and the Earth looks amazing, even from this girl's little view.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Miracle on Comm. Ave

Question: nerds, who do you know that is going to the Death Cab for Cutie and Franz Ferdinand concert in March?

Answer: Ms. NancyPearl and her illustrious friends. Boo yeah!

I know, I can hear all the Napoleon voices saying "LUCKY". You all wish you were me. It's ok to wish it, but please- there is only one NPW and she has mad concert ticket connections. Or friends that wake up from naps to buy them during the online presale.

One more thing: Lost better be good tonight or I might have to consider writing my own season finale instead. And then I'll be all up in J.J. Abrams grill.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

An Ode

Valentine's Day is fast approaching and what better way to celebrate than to extol upon my true love... the library.

Pink and orange, smell of mold,
Monographs from days of old.
Odiferous is your pubescent scent,
Where fish swim and books are lent.
Spine labels, barcodes, all abound,
Sometimes in the lost and found.
Kids and glue and Microsoft Word,
Into middle school I was lured.
Now here I dwell, for better or worse,
It's a good thing I love what some might think a curse.

Monday, February 06, 2006

Strange Days

People: I know I have been less than stellar at keeping up with the February posts thus far. No need to fret, however, as I have a renewed energy and zest for "the blogging", as the kids are calling it. The days are getting longer, warmer, and happier, but I will do my best to make sure that my writing in no way reflects any of those sentiments.

I do feel compelled to mention that I had a superfly weekend, B-town style. The best weekend in a long while, actually. Despite my best efforts, I'm hating on February less and less. You see, peeps, on the one hand I have to wonder if my constant grinning may adversely affect my sarcasm and all-around snarkiness. On the other hand, my humor is innate and I don't think it's going anywhere. In other words, no need for alarm at my lack of posting; the first whiff of conversation heart, maybe I'll go right back to my old anti-Feb. self.

So enough of the chit chat. In serious news, I have been having wildly bizarre dreams lately. If these were normal-bizarre dreams I would not bother to record them here for you. But on the scale of strange-osity, they're like a 9. Saturday night I dreamed that I was at the beach and I had my little cooler full of drinks. After I went swimming in the waves I came back and my cooler was missing. When I looked down the beach, I spied a man surrounded by 20 different coolers of all shapes and sizes. I marched right up to this loon and demanded my cooler back. He looked sheepish and told me that he had been stealing coolers in hopes of finding valuable video game covers from old Nintendo cartridges. He said he had already found an original Donkey Kong and Mario Bros. 2, and he was going to make himself rich scouring the beach for coolers full of covers. In my dream, I realized the genius of his plan and nodded along with him, not even bothering to get my drinks back.

In another dream, a bunch of my friends and I were nut miners and we used pickaxes in underground tunnels to mine nuts for yogurt. Why? Your guess is as good as mine.

PS- I am so very close to having tickets to see the future Mr. NancyPearl, aka Franz Ferdinand, and Mr. Ben Gibbard of Death Cab/Postal Service fame. So close.
PPS- I know I promised you all a ranked list of the worst holidays of the year way back in December. Not to worry- that will be posted this month. See? Something to look forward to.
PPS- Is anyone else as amused as I that football has such a thing as a "ticky tack" foul?

Thursday, February 02, 2006

All In Black

Hello, kiddie-poos!

As you may have noticed, I did not write yesterday. The reason? I was in mourning at the passing of January into February. However, I am back today- not because I feel like writing, but only so that I do not let my hopeful readers down two days in a row. The February blahs have already begun and the weird weather has done nothing to improve my mood as of late. Although I do enjoy not having to dig my way out of my driveway every morning, it feels strange to only wear a vest this early on in the year. Also, I heard something yesterday about the government trying to cover up the severely abnormal temperature. Normally I'm not much of a conspiracy theorist, but this would seem to make a strange sort of sense.

Anyway, this has been the longest week ever, peppered with random mishaps and even stranger ups and downs. This morning I scraped my entire front bumper along the wall of my driveway, after already getting a late start, spilled coffee on my shirt the minute I got to school, and dropped my entire lunch into the garbage barrel by accident (luckily it was in a plastic bag, and the garbage barrel was empty, so I could retrieve it). I also seem to be developing yet another cold- this will be the third since November. I suppose that's not too shabby for my first year in a school, but it's back to drinking OJ in the mornings for me.

Some good news: I have both new and old friends coming to visit me this weekend, which should be great fun. And I just found out I have a meeting on Valentine's Day, effectively relieving me from any type of dating pressure that might occur as it draws near. I hope you're all coping with this month in a better fashion than I.

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