So Perchance You Can... Dance

Last night after our hip hop class*, L and I sat down to watch So You Think You Can Dance on Fox. I have to say, I like this show way more than American Idol or Dance 360, if only because the people on it are so much more ridiculous and dramatic. Everyone is crying all over the place, there are numerous hospital visits (like, if you've been a dancer for 13 years, why are you collapsing down in a dehydrated heap halfway through a workout? How did you never learn about the benefits of water?), and the outfits and makeup are hilarious.

One woman wrote with magic marker all over her stomach: "Were did you go today?" Her misspelling made me cringe, but that was just the beginning. Her hair, makeup, outfit, and dancing were nothing short of horrendous. When the judges called her immature, she just kept repeating, "I think I'm beautiful! I think I'm so beautiful!" Well, everyone else thinks you're a loon. Get off the stage.

Another contestant stated, "I've been dancing for 13 years, literally 24/7. I literally watch myself dancing in the mirror every second." Oh, really? You literally dance 24/7? How are you not dead? Do you eat while you're dancing? Are your legs doing the lambada while you sleep (with your eyes open to look at yourself in the mirror)? When he was booted off for falling directly onto his face, his comment: "I literally gave 200% in this competition". First of all, you can't give more than 100%, it's impossible. Second, get a dictionary and look up the definition of the word literally, or better yet, just strike it from your vocab entirely.

While explaining the choreography of one of the lyrical dances, one of the contestants was confused and asked, "Should my arm be straight, or bent?" The most ridiculous of judges, Mia, firmly stated that his arm movement should be "human", and left it at that. Nice direction there, Mia. Thanks for the clear instructions.

I kept confusing contestants with last year's show because they all seemed eerily similar. The Asian dude with the funky hair and no real dance training. The blond girl who looks like a punk but has a heart of gold and dance circles around everyone. The African-American street dancer whose "dangerous" moves might keep him from making it to the end, but he'll win America's affection trying. When I asked L if they all seemed the same to her, she paused a beat and then sang... "So I Think I For... Got". Ha! Awesome.


*Rest assured, L and I do not think we can dance.