Giving It Up

I don't understand New Year's resolutions. First of all, does anyone ever keep them? Secondly, what's wrong with who we are from year to year? There may be some things about my life I'd like to change, but why wait until January 1 to do it? Plus, how can anyone be expected to start their resolutions with a massive New Year's Eve hangover?

I know it's all symbolic, the changing of the calendar year mirroring the changes in our lives and all. I'm down with the metaphor. But I'm sick of the hype. So this year I've resigned myself to doing it up 200 Cigarettes-style, maybe meet myself a little Elvis Costello and wake up in Martha Plimpton's apartment with my party hat still on. (Or just hanging out with some friends in a low-key bar setting. That's good too.)

Side note: I think next year I want to have a masquerade party for New Year's. A ball, even. Who's in?