The ins and outs of a young library media specialist's life. Rock, rock on.

Monday, May 21, 2007

15 Things

Friends, my head has not been in the right place lately. I have this constant feeling of being out of sorts, like I'm unsure of how to be myself anymore. This feeling has it's own ebb and flow of course, but I'll admit it's been kind of disconcerting. The last year has brought with it many changes- some amazing, some not quite so welcome. Today I decided that I was well overdue for a mental health day and I set out to enjoy a leisurely day at Walden Pond, famous home to Thoreau and the filming site of On Golden Pond. I packed up a book and a snack and some sunscreen and I headed for the woods for some deep contemplation re-reading of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Unfortunately, it appeared as though every college campus in the state of Massachusetts (and believe me, there are a lot of them), also decided that today was Mental Health Day '07 and also chose Walden as their get-away spot.

And in college, "get-away" means "sneaking vodka in Nalgene bottles and shouting and swearing while throwing oneself into a frigid lake in May". Needless to say, it was not the relaxing jaunt I had been hoping for. But I did get some very pretty pictures- if you'd like to see them you can email me, I'll send you the link to my flickr account. I'm far too lazy to post them in both places, you see.

Anyway, Jenn had a great Post Secret type of blog entry today and I thought I'd follow suit in the spirit of being cathartic. Here are 15 things that I wish to tell different people without naming any names.
  1. I'm still so angry and disappointed with you, I don't know that I'll ever not be angry. But I'm trying.
  2. I wanted you to be somebody else.
  3. You're a better writer than I am; sometimes I'm jealous.
  4. You've always been there for me and I appreciate that more than you'll ever know.
  5. Years later I'm still trying to understand how you could give up your family members so easily. I cannot understand your feelings but at least now I can accept them.
  6. Sometimes it's difficult to be your friend when we have such different views of the world. But I'm glad we are; it's good to have your beliefs shaken up once in a while.
  7. I hope our friendship continues to grow and I'm really very glad you showed up at this point in my life.
  8. I'm sorry that things did not work out the way we thought they would. I'm sorry we didn't try harder. I'm sorry we left things the way we did.
  9. I never wanted to get to know you but you've made it really hard to hate you.
  10. I wish we didn't live so far apart. I miss you.
  11. I secretly hope to run into you someday so that you can see how awesome I am compared to you.
  12. You are the person I turn to when I feel like there's nobody and nothing else to make me feel better and you never ask for anything in return. I don't tell you enough how important that is to me.
  13. I find you to be silly and immature, but sometimes I need that.
  14. I hope you're happy and content, even if you wouldn't wish the same for me.
  15. You are my love. You are my favorite. You are my home, and my heart, and you represent all the best things in my life. I want you to know that you mean more to me than I'll ever be able to express in a silly blog post. And I'll tell you that until forever.

21 Comments:

Blogger L Sass rocks hardcore!

I love these 15 things. The funny thing is, I can think of someone in my life to whom I could apply one of these sentiments, too.

1:54 PM

 
Blogger Ween rocks hardcore!

Funny how I'd like to say some of these same things.

Isn't adulthood supposed to be easier?

2:01 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous rocks hardcore!

I'm #3, right? Ehh? Ehhhh? I wish. As long as I'm not #1 that's good with me! Somehow I doubt I made your top 15, but something tells me one of my breast friends did. : ) Anyhoo, it was a very intriguing list.

-Fran

3:57 PM

 
Blogger stefanie rocks hardcore!

Drunken college kids at Walden Pond?? That makes me sadder than it probably should.

4:54 PM

 
Blogger stilettoheights rocks hardcore!

Golden Pond the remake was filmed there, not the original....sorry I was in a play that was directed by the writer of On Golden Pond...(Ernest Thompson) he went on and on about Henry Fonda staying at his house during filming...

anyway, I loved this, it was beautiful to read.

5:54 PM

 
Blogger Aaron rocks hardcore!

I secretly hope to run into you someday so that you can see how awesome I am compared to you.

Right back at you, NPW. Right back at you.

Oh, that wasn't directed at me? Sorry, never mind.

6:31 PM

 
Blogger Lisa rocks hardcore!

I loved this post. I love post secret too! I also think that it's funny how one or two of these could apply to people in my life.

9:15 PM

 
Anonymous alyndabear rocks hardcore!

I'm totally stealing this tomorrow. Love your work, lady. :P

5:16 AM

 
Blogger Noelle rocks hardcore!

Yeay! Post Secrets on a Tuesday morning! Now, I'm hoping that we get the corresponding collage-y cards to go with those brilliant 15 things soon...

My secret is that I'm jealous that you get to go to Walden Pond on a whim and not after a four hour drive.

7:26 AM

 
Blogger NancyPearlWannabe rocks hardcore!

lsass- It felt pretty good to write those all out, even if no one else knows what they mean. Yay for being all cathartic up in here.

w- I don't know, it seems like childhood was way, WAY easier. Before hormones and life mysteries got in the way.

franny- You are a terrific writer, and a great friend. :) And when I first read your comment, I actually thought "Wait, did I write about one of Fran's boobs by accident?" Ha!

stef- It made me sad, too. I didn't even do any reading. But I did do some hiking, so all was not lost.

jenn- oooh, I didn't know that! thanks for the info, Miss IMDB! :)

ace- I don't need to run into you to be reminded of how awesome I am.

lisa- I love Post Secret so much, but I don't think I'd have the guts to send in one of those cards... this was the closest I'll come, I guess.

aly- feel free! and thanks. :)

noelle- my arts & crafts skills leave a lot to be desired- I don't think you really want to see any kind of kitschy postcard I might make!

8:31 AM

 
Blogger Beej rocks hardcore!

Jenn -

Small bit of trivia - my long-ago ex-girlfriend's (who happens to be Aaron's brother Johnny's current girlfriend)father spent some time with Henry Fonda during the filming of On Golden Pond, and also went on and on about it.

9:15 AM

 
Blogger moogan rocks hardcore!

number 11 made me laugh out loud.
Hope that proved more theraputic then drunken coeds

9:30 AM

 
Blogger Kelli rocks hardcore!

This is a great post. And I too could insert some names into the 15 'secrets' you listed.

I LOVE Walden Pond (but prefer to go when you actually can go in the water in say July or August!)

Okay two dates to plan - Beer Garden and Walden Pond.
Also, I'm horrible b/c I never called you on Friday. We didn't even go to the Beer Garden but I still should've "hollared" at 'cha. Next time, promise. And seriously, can we plan post-work drinks in my 'hood soon?
I'm going to get on planning that right away.

10:19 AM

 
Blogger NancyPearlWannabe rocks hardcore!

Beej- weird. WEIRD!

moogan- blogs are way cheaper than therapy. :)

kelli- heck yeah we can plan for drinks! Thursdays are usually good for me, and Fridays too. But hey, in a few more weeks my schedule will be wide open! Don't worry about calling me back, we actually ended up going out with some friends in Arlington.

Oh, and I'll take your word for it that Walden's better in the summer. :)

10:36 AM

 
Blogger Erikka rocks hardcore!

On Golden Pond with Peter Fonda and his daughter was filmed in NH, at Squam Lake. I thought you would know that, you know, NH representin' and all.

inlcude me in these "after work drinks" please. i need one!

10:47 AM

 
Blogger NancyPearlWannabe rocks hardcore!

erikka- I did know that, it seemed to have slipped my mind. It was the REMAKE that was at Walden. I guess this means I better go see Live Free or Die Hard then. Sigh.

11:00 AM

 
Anonymous abbersnail rocks hardcore!

YES! That was so cathartic!!! Thanks for the idea!

11:13 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous rocks hardcore!

FYI...Golden Pond and/or its remake was never filmed at Walden Pond...but Born on the 4th of July w/Tom Cruise has a small Walden scene.

7:49 PM

 
Blogger NancyPearlWannabe rocks hardcore!

Ok, ok, ok! So no On Golden Pond at Walden: apparently I completely made that up in my head. Whatevs.

7:00 AM

 
Blogger CarpeDM rocks hardcore!

Hmm. I think there are plenty of people I could say things like this about, I may have to do this.

I can't wait for the new book! And the movie!

9:46 AM

 
Blogger beatricebomb rocks hardcore!

you look so cute - albeit pissed - in the woods!

10:49 AM

 

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