The ins and outs of a young library media specialist's life. Rock, rock on.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Library Find of the Day

If Spring means one thing in this here library, it's that science fair projects are in full swing. Yesterday while helping some students search out books on chemical reactions, ballistics, and boiling points, I stumbled across this lovely volume:

It seemed innocuous enough at first, if maybe a little dated. I laid the book on the counter and forgot about it. A few periods later I was chatting with the science teacher and for some reason glanced down at the book again. Something was wrong with this picture, but I couldn't quite grasp it. Why was this kid alone, slowly burning objects over an open candle flame in a wooden shed filled with chemicals? Hey! Discovering Chemistry my ass! This little jerk is a pyro!

I mean, look at his face! You can't tell me that expression isn't pure evil.


Next thing you know he'll be jabbing that red-hot poker into a stray cat he trapped in a box.

"Why, hello there, young Mr. Ted Kaczynski. What's that you say? You say you prefer to be called the Unabomber? Well what kind of name is that for an upstanding young citizen, just out here discovering chemistry in an abandoned shed in the woods? And why do I smell burnt hair?"

Actually, I can't tell you what a relief it was to know that my students will be well prepared for life out in the big, big world. This library is not just a bastion of literary genius; I'm providing life skills here. My kids will know how to build their own meth chem labs before they ever even get to college.

Ohhhh... dang. He's from New Hampshire? Well there you go. Mystery solved!

9 Comments:

Blogger Beej rocks hardcore!

I suspect he is actually planning on burning dartmouth down/blowing it up for rejecting him. There's revenge burning in them beady little eyes.

8:44 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous rocks hardcore!

when i glanced at the photo, i thought the kid was smoking a bowl.

- kir

11:31 AM

 
Blogger Noelle rocks hardcore!

He really does look like he's about do do some hard core drugs. The book should be called "fun and profit with chemistry!"

11:49 AM

 
Blogger Lara rocks hardcore!

i'm going to have nightmare's about that kid's facial expression now. thanks. :-P

12:49 PM

 
Blogger Kelli rocks hardcore!

After reading your blog for awhile, I have to say...I'm thinking back to the librarians I had in middle school and looking at them in a whole new light...

4:30 PM

 
Anonymous LaLa rocks hardcore!

Yeah. Who knew Librarians could be so funny.

The librarians we had were like dried up old books

6:14 AM

 
Blogger stilettoheights rocks hardcore!

yeah, that kid is probably living in the woods all by himself unibomber style right now.

7:46 AM

 
Blogger NancyPearlWannabe rocks hardcore!

B- He does look as though he's planning something nefarious. At least we live reasonably far away from Dartmouth, out of the fallout zone. Ace might get killed, however.

Kir- No one smoking a bowl would have such an intense face as that.

N- I might re-market it on my library shelves as that. I can put it next to "Quaaludes" on a display rack.

Lara- Just stay away from NH and you'll probably be alright!

K- I don't know if that's a good light or a bad light, but at least it's not a "scary old librarian" light!

Lala- I figure I have plenty of dried up old books, why be one myself?

S- See? And you Midwesterners thought you had cornered the market on serial killers! Pshaw.

10:19 AM

 
Blogger Mary Sheehan Winn rocks hardcore!

That is so hilarious, thanks for the laughs!

7:18 PM

 

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