Library Find of the Day

If Spring means one thing in this here library, it's that science fair projects are in full swing. Yesterday while helping some students search out books on chemical reactions, ballistics, and boiling points, I stumbled across this lovely volume:

It seemed innocuous enough at first, if maybe a little dated. I laid the book on the counter and forgot about it. A few periods later I was chatting with the science teacher and for some reason glanced down at the book again. Something was wrong with this picture, but I couldn't quite grasp it. Why was this kid alone, slowly burning objects over an open candle flame in a wooden shed filled with chemicals? Hey! Discovering Chemistry my ass! This little jerk is a pyro!

I mean, look at his face! You can't tell me that expression isn't pure evil.


Next thing you know he'll be jabbing that red-hot poker into a stray cat he trapped in a box.

"Why, hello there, young Mr. Ted Kaczynski. What's that you say? You say you prefer to be called the Unabomber? Well what kind of name is that for an upstanding young citizen, just out here discovering chemistry in an abandoned shed in the woods? And why do I smell burnt hair?"

Actually, I can't tell you what a relief it was to know that my students will be well prepared for life out in the big, big world. This library is not just a bastion of literary genius; I'm providing life skills here. My kids will know how to build their own meth chem labs before they ever even get to college.

Ohhhh... dang. He's from New Hampshire? Well there you go. Mystery solved!