The ins and outs of a young library media specialist's life. Rock, rock on.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Crazy Talk

Sometimes I think I must know what it's like to be mentally ill.

I'm not saying that in a "I feel your pain, Prozac Nation" kind of way, or even a Britney Spears shave-all-my-hair-off-and-check-into-12-different-rehabs kind of way. I'm simply thinking that for the past 15 years or so I have been getting that montly visit that signifies that I'm now a woman and that I have God's biological permission to procreate. And yet? Every single month rolls in and I spend a good 3-4 days as a crazed maniac bent on my own destruction. My moods range from sad to angry to chipper and happy to weeping and ranting, in roughly 10 minute intervals, with pretty much no reprieve until I wake up a few days later thinking, "Uh oh. I really hope no one was too badly hurt during that little Dr. Jekyll episode."

And usually I think to myself, Self? This is really not a very lady-like way to behave. In fact, you're probably making everyone around you want to murder you in your sleep. Sometimes I can even pep talk myself into being calm and normal- that is, when I recognize that I'm being a loon, which is not the majority of cases. But when your feelings are so big and they feel so true, it's almost impossible to tell yourself that you're being irrational.

So maybe I'm naive, but I'd imagine that's exactly how mentally ill people feel. Or maybe they just never have that moment of clarity when they realize that everyone probably hates them? If only I owned a big drug company- all my efforts would be poured into a three-day a month Paxil formula. Well, that, and my birth control advent calendars- you know, where you get a little piece of chocolate with your Ortho every day? Oh, and there would be different "advent" themes every month- fun! No one will ever forget to take that ish if there's little bites of dark chocolate and kama sutra leprechauns involved.

I am so going to be rich one day. Or ex-communicated. Whatevs.

Where was I? Oh, right. Anyway, if I seem like a whiny jerk-face lately, or ever in the past, for that matter, it is probably for the above mentioned reasons. All I can say is, thanks be that a good 55% of the people on this planet probably understand without even having to read this, and for those who don't, sorry for the swings.

8 Comments:

Blogger stilettoheights rocks hardcore!

last night I saw a McDonald commercial on TV advertising their fish meal...I started to cry because my mom always ate that, and then I missed her.

A McDonald's Commercial!!!!!!!

I hate hormones, that's all I'm saying.

9:04 AM

 
Anonymous beej rocks hardcore!

If I get a kama sutra leprechaun, I want on the pill.

9:16 AM

 
Blogger Beej rocks hardcore!

PS - my blog is now private. If you want to read it you'll need to register with wordpress.com and email me your username.

Thanks!

10:46 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous rocks hardcore!

Hormones mutate and form some kind of alien beings that take over your mind and body every month until you just about go crazy...well into your 50's. Once they are gone so is all your fun.

2:47 PM

 
Blogger Ween rocks hardcore!

I would totally buy a birth control advent calendar.

But I'm not sure about the leprechauns.

3:24 PM

 
Blogger Noelle rocks hardcore!

Before I got my script for the pill, which does work just like an advent calendar without the chocolate, the only way I could predict my period was that much like Stillettoheights, I would spontaneously cry at television commercials.

8:35 AM

 
Blogger NancyPearlWannabe rocks hardcore!

S- commercials do tend to pull at one's heart strings when one is already emotional.

B- maybe I'll make you a kama sutra leprechaun anyway, just for fun. Or better yet, Jenn is actually an artist, maybe this will inspire her to create little men of the Ides.

Anon- I know, we suffer all these years and then the big prize at the end? Menopause. Being a woman blows.

W- First customer!

N- The pill does come in a calendar form, but nothing like an advent calendar! You get no chocolate, no cute little door to open, no monthly themes, it's very non-exciting. The only trouble I foresee is making them purse-sized...

11:15 AM

 
Blogger CarpeDM rocks hardcore!

Speaking as a truly crazy person, I can let you know that Paxil is evil (sexual side effects are a much bigger deal than what the company lets on), I know what it is like to go from happy to suicidal in 3.2 seconds and Effexor is the best happy pill in the entire world.

Plus, dark chocolate is wrong. I'm a milk chocolate girl all the way.

1:00 PM

 

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