For Reasons Unknown

Dudes. I totally blew my big chance to toot my own horn. As of October 5th, I have officially been writing this drivel for an entire year. Hooray, me! I just gave myself an actual pat on the back and a kid saw me through my office window. God, I love being the kooky librarian.

Anyway, to celebrate my awesomeness I am not even going to bother coming up with my own wit and snark to amuse you. No, instead I am simply going to cut and paste a very poor survey from someone else's site and run with it. Give me a break here- it's Hump Day and I'm tired.

Read it and weep:

1. Do you still talk to the person you had your first kiss with? Nope. What a horrible question to start a survey off.
2. What would you do with 1,000 plastic spoons? Create lawn art. And then buy a house so I had a lawn for the art.
3. What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school? New Kids on the Block. Actually, the boy I had my first kiss with was in one of their videos. Rock, rock on.
4. What is the best thing about your job? How to choose? Honestly, my job is the best.
5. Do you wish cell phone etiquette was required in class? I wish cell phones were banned from class.
8. Where are you going on your next vacation? That's right, we like to skip numbers here. 6? 7? Screw 'em. We think outside the box. Wait, what was the question again? Oh, right, vacation... probably Orlando or Denver.
9. Quote a song lyric? How is this a question?
10. Are most of the friends in your life new or old? It's all relative, man.
11. Do you own any furniture from Ikea? My apartment is pretty much sponsored by Ikea. They really should be paying me to live inside an advertisement.
13. If you could be an animal what would you be? A kitten. I'd love to be featured on kitten wars. It's like Project Runway for cats.
14. What state/country are you from? New Hampshire, represent.
15. Tell us about the last conversation/s you had. It involved old people and books. That's all you need to know.
16. Where do you see yourself in one month? Living on the streets, destitute and alone. Hey, a lot can happen in a month.
17. What is your favorite smell? Fall leaves on the ground
18. What is your favorite sight? My angel cat, Vinny, looking at me with his adorable green eyes. My baby doll Aidan. My Christopher. Fall trees and fairs.
19. Do you consider yourself bi-polar? Can one consider oneself bipolar? Wouldn't you need a doctor's diagnosis for this? This question makes me nervous.
21. Have you ever done anything vindictive to your coworkers? No. It'd be awfully embarassing to be fired from your job as a school librarian for being "vindictive". Hey, and where'd 20 go?
22. Have you ever gone to therapy? Nope. Waste of money. I do my own therapizing: librarian, heal thyself.
23. Have you ever played Spin the bottle? Hell yes, what would middle school have been without Spin the Bottle and 7 Minutes in Heaven? Nowadays they just have Rainbow Parties, but it's so not the same.
24. Have you ever toilet-papered someone’s house? No, but I read about it once. Sounds dreamy.
25. Have you ever liked someone but never told them? Sure
26. Have you ever gone camping? Many moons ago, when I was a different person.
27. Have you ever had a crush on your sister’s friend? No, my sister's friends tend not to be my type.
28. Have you ever been to a nude beach? A topless beach in Martinique- does that count?
29. Have you ever had sex on the beach? What is that- peach and champagne? Or sand in crevices? Either way, gross.
30. Have you ever had a stalker? Kinda.
32. have you ever laughed so hard you cried? Lord, yes.
33. Have you ever gone to a party where you were the only sober one? Yes. I was pretty much always the DD until I discovered red wine.
34. Have you ever been cheated on? Unfortunately, yes.
35. Have you ever felt betrayed by your best friend? BO-RING
36. Have you ever lied to your parents? Who hasn't?
37. Have you ever been out of the US? Yep.
38. Have you ever thrown up from working out? No, but I did throw up in my own lap in 6th grade math class. The first and only time I ever ate school hot lunch.
39. Have you ever gotten a haircut so bad that you wore a hat for a month straight? I don't know of any girl that would ever wear a hat for a month straight, I don't care how bad the haircut is.
40. Have you ever eaten 3 meals from 3 different fast food places in 1 day? No. I was blessed with the "I hate food that tastes like crap" gene.
41. Have you ever gotten so wasted you cant remember the nite before? I plead the 5th on this. Let's just say gin + Tang should never, never be consumed together.
42. Have you ever spied on someone you had a crush on? Yep... used to get calls from my friends like, "Just saw Ben in the library!" and then I'd run up there in my pajamas just to watch him read ancient Russian texts.
43. Have you ever slept with one of your coworkers? Also going to plead the 5th- but I will mention that I've worked with more than one of my boyfriends.
44. Kissed more than one person at a time? I don't think I get it.
45. I'm skipping this question. Point of personal privelege.

The week's more than half over, people. Woot.