Local Lunch Lady Proud of Etiquette Lessons She Provides

True story: today I was reprimanded by the blue-eyelinered lunch lady in the snack shack for not using the magic word. Official transcript to follow.

Lunch Lady: Hey Hon, how's it going?
NPW: Excellent. Another day closer to summer. How about yourself?
LL: Ya know. Same old.
NPW: I hear you.
LL: So what can I getcha?
NPW: I'd love some popcorn. My lunch was pretty blah today.
LL: (blank stare)
LL: (more blank stare)
NPW: Umm... are you out of popcorn? (As I stare at it gently popping and tumbling into the machine)
LL: No... no, that's not it.
NPW: (my turn for a blank stare)
LL: You didn't use the magic word. I was waiting for the magic word.
NPW: (slightly disconcerted) Oh. Sorry.
LL: (blanker stare)
NPW: Um. Please?
LL: (slow, satisfied grin) You betcha.

I realize not saying "please" to begin with wasn't very Emily Post of me, but seriously with the lecture? It's not like I said, "Hey bizotch, gimme some of that hot deliciousness back there", or "I want that motherf'in popcorn in my motherf'in hand like now". And also? You're a lunch lady. And not even a real lunch lady. You work in the snack shack with the bottles of water and the bags of chips.

Bravo, Miss Manners. Thanks to you I will never again be surprised by a lecture on the word please. Next time someone asks me for the magic I'll kick them in the shins and take the damn popcorn by force. And I'll pack it to the top of the bag, too.