Fleurmione and the Goblet of Eggnog

In a recent email a friend tried calling me Madame Umbridge, which, of course, I immediately took as an affront to my character. I informed him in no uncertain terms that I demanded to be Fleur, or Hermione, or at the very least a respectable Professor McGonagall. Turns out, he was actually just really impressed with himself for being able to insult me, Harry Potter-style.

To make up for it, he dubbed me Fleurmione because I can speak French, but also have Hermione's bossy, know-it-all attitude*. So I will accept the hybrid Fleurmione. This friend also tried declaring himself Dumbledore, then tried to backtrack and say that he only picked Dumbledore because he's an old man now. Which is true. But there are very few people who can call themselves Dumbledore and get away with it. So we have decided on him being Neville Longbottom, minus the unfortunate Brit mouth. He's a bit mopey but brilliant with the Herbology.

Fo-shizzle, I think I should also mention that I am distinctly NOT in a holiday mood. I admit, I begrudgingly bought tickets to the staff holiday party, but the only reason I did is because I would hate to miss any teacher throw-downs, fist fights, or drunken debaucherous moments and have to be filled in weeks after the holiday break. Confirming that this will be a non-fun event, my suggestion for the holiday party at the staff meeting was met with blank stares- I wanted to rent one of those mechanical bulls. Seeing teachers and administrators thrown from a bucking bronco onto big fluffy mats would be hilarious. But I guess no one sees HUMOR during the holiday season.

I was listening to the radio the other day and they had this contest: two people had to rattle off as many things as they could think of that fell under the topic "Things You Should Not Do At A Company Holiday Party" in ten seconds. Now, let me preface this by saying that both contestants failed miserably at this task. But I thought it odd that both mentioned that one should not "defecate on the company floor" at a company holiday party. Is this something that occurs frequently at holiday parties? Was I unaware of this as a cultural phenomenon? Or am I right in thinking that strange?



*And I'm not really that bossy. I'm just often correct. So there.