TT On The Weekend To Come

Thirteen Things about NPW's Upcoming Weekend (and Friday) 1. Okay, so really this should have been a post for Friday since I'm about to talk about the upcoming weekend, but there's no such thing as a Friday Thirteen (it would be totally jinxed and all), so here we go. Be forewarned: I may not post tomorrow, so get your crying done now. Yes, yes, I'll miss you too. Moving on. 2. Tonight is the big Open House where parents come to view student work, berate talk to teachers, and of course, buy things at the Scholastic Book Fair. Note that I said "things" and not "books"; the kiddos are far more interested in the foolish little bendy pencils and foul-scented highlighters than they are in the books. And while they may be money makers, I can tell you from firsthand experience that toys and middle schoolers do not mix. For example, they are selling these super long erasers that look like colorful Twizzlers. And do you think students are using these to carefully erase errant pencil marks from their homework? No. They are using them to whip each other on the arms, legs, face, and neck. I had the following conversation this morning: Me: Bradley, if I see you using that eraser you just bought for anything other than erasing, it will be mine. Bradley: (pauses, looks at the eraser, looks at the friend he was about to whip, looks at me) Will I get my money back? Also, who thought it was a good idea to teach kids that huffing banana-scented highlighters is the correct use for them? Sweet Baby Jesus, I feel like Argus Filch confiscating Fanged Frisbees up in here. 3. Open House tonight promises to be a bundle of fun; there's going to be a cookout! Yesterday the entire staff of the school received an email from the Principal asking for volunteers to "grill his tube steaks". I'm assuming he meant there will be hot dogs? 4. Tomorrow will be more Book Fair, more inventory checklists, more work in general. I'm pretty sure that the only good thing about tomorrow will be getting home from work and napping luxuriously on the couch, despite the Crow Children squawking next door. Oh, and it's Date Night! 5. Date Night = fun. Fun = Pirates of the Caribbean. Therefore, Date Night = Pirates of the Caribbean. And hopefully a lot more relaxing because I sure need it. 6. Saturday we agreed to meet my cousins and their respective spouses up in the White Mountains for a bit of hiking at the beautiful Flume Gorge. I'm pretty excited about the trip- I haven't been hiking since last summer and I haven't been to the Gorge since I was young. I do love the mountains. Rock on with your bad self, Granite State. We also have planned a trip to the infamous Alpine Slide. If any of you out there have never been on an Alpine Slide, I highly recommend it. No, in fact, I demand you seek one out- they are one of life's greatest thrills. Unless the idea of a concrete luge down a mountainside freaks you out. Then you might want to stay away. C has vowed not to partake in the Alpine Sliding fun as it involves a ride up the mountain in a chair lift and he is a wee bit frightened of heights. Or, more accurately, of falling from heights. 7. Actually, I'm not sure why I'm not more traumatized by the idea of the Alpine Slide after the great Sliding Debacle of '84, wherein my overzealous father decided that the use of the brakes provided on the luge was unnecessary, thus launching the both of us off the cart onto the concrete path, wherein the concrete path felt that my skin was unnecessary and scraped a good portion right off my body. 8. Saturday we will also have dinner on the mountain, which I like to say out loud when anyone asks what I'm doing this weekend because I think it sounds very important. "We will be having dinner on the mountain." I would like to say that the dinner will include drinks, but I will likely be the D.D. and it's about a two hour drive back to the city. C, however, will be free to get loose on the drinks, and he'll probably need it after I drag him down the Slide of Death with me that afternoon. 9. Sunday there will be a grand gala cookout for my cousin Gabriel's 30th birthday, which will be a treat since he and his wife live life in the fast lane down in NYC and we only see them periodically throughout the year. Of course, it's supposed to rain, so the cookout may be more of a cookin, but whatever. Point: there will be food. That I didn't have to cook. 10. I'm kind of hoping that Monday will be a day of rest. Like the seventh day, only not. It's not every day that I get to spend lounging around reading books. Oh, wait... 11. Actually, Monday being Memorial Day and all I'm sure there must be some type of festivities going on somewhere, right? I mean, what's Memorial Day for? No, seriously, I just forgot what Memorial Day was for. What are we supposed to be remembering on Monday the 28th? Oh! Right! Soldiers. That died. Sometimes I frighten myself with how little my brain retains. What would I do without wikipedia? 12. Anyway, are there fireworks on Memorial Day? There must be, somewhere, right? I guess if all else fails we could drive back up to the beach in NH, buy some fireworks, and then illegally set them off somewhere in Massachusetts. Although I don't really fancy the idea of spending time in the ER after we predictably blow off our fingers with bottle rockets. What about music? There's got to be loads of people that want to sing about soldiers being killed off. Aren't I so patriotic? 13. And that will be my weekend, folks. It's supposed to be super nice out today and tomorrow, semi-nice out on Saturday, and blowsville on Sunday and Monday. Which sounds about right for May in New England. Hope you have fantabulous weekends and unless I get a stroke of sheer writing genius tomorrow I'll see you for our regularly scheduled programming on Tuesday.