Where My Snakes At?

You've got to wonder what all those people are thinking today. You know, the ones who dissed Snakes on a Plane as being too ridiculous for words? The people who claimed they would never want to watch a movie so idiotic that the directors didn't even feel the need to show any advance screenings to the media? The ones that said they just couldn't understand the movie's cultish following months before the release of the movie? I'll tell you what they must be thinking: I am dumb. Yep, they must be feeling pretty sheepish now that the reviews are in and it's pretty much unanimous: motherfuckin' awesome.

I have watched a lot of movies this summer; most of which sucked, some of which were amusing. But SoaP will be the highlight, the crowning glory of summer movies, a sendoff to the fall movie months of dreary dramas and weepy romances. Let's do a little rundown of the most recent movies I've seen (or at least the ones I can remember):

• Superman: even in 3-D at the IMAX, this movie blew. Big time. Oh, Parker Posey, why didn't you stick to the Christopher Guest genre?
  
• DaVinci Code: very disappointing. Confirmed my distaste for anything Tom Hanks (minus Big, of course).
• Pirates of the Caribbean II: awesome. Love Johnny Depp. Long live the Kracken!
• X-Men III: Possibly the worst movie I've seen this summer. Whoa. Amend that. Definitely the worst movie I've seen this summer.
• Clerks II: hilarious, even if you are not a die hard Kevin Smith fan. "One ring to rule them all..."
• Old Boy: disturbing, haunting, eerie, but amazing. Even with the subtitles. The American remake won't be half as good, I'm sure.
• The Devil Wears Prada: perfect movie for a girly day. Made me want to revisit Paris and be able to afford couture clothing instead of my Gap jeans and B. Republic t-shirts.
• Poseidon: worth exactly the $1 I paid to see it. And actually, I didn't even pay, so it was doubly worth it (despite the horrible dialogue).
  

So you see, Snakes on a Plane will be the pinnacle of my summertime movie watching. I haven't looked forward to a movie this much since that night last summer, the night that was a young adult librarian's dream: both the midnight release of the new Harry Potter and the opening night of the new Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Samuel L., I know you won't let me down.

Now where did I put that anti-venom?