Faux Paw
Nerdstar Runners: sorry to disappoint, but I've got nothing for you today. My brain hurts and my heart is heavy. My little Tuki doll might have traitorous fur, but as Chris and I were leaving the MSPCA yesterday she kept staring down at him from her perch and meowing reproachfully. She wanted to come home with us. She couldn't help it that she caused us to itch out of our minds. She misses us.
Or, you know, she could be totally fine; maybe she'll go home with some awesome people who will understand that she's the coolest cat around and treat her as royalty. Maybe she has no awareness whatsoever that we even wanted her. But those eyes... it's hard to shake the feeling that she knew we were leaving her there.
Anyway, I'm sure you'll all be glad to end this week of NPW's Cat Drama Mini-series and get back to my usual trippy librarian stories. With any luck the end of this week will bring the good news I know you're all dying to hear. Till then, I leave you with my current list of summer job options:
- Nanny/Au pair/glorified babysitter
- Tutor
- Camp counselor
- Porn set fluffer
- Bookstore
- Pouring concrete
- Mover
- Shaker
- Selling ginsu knives at state fairs
- Becoming a Mormon, filming commercials
posted by shelleycoughlin at 5:24 AM
13 Comments:
i'd totally go for option #4.
9:35 AM
wow, all 10 jobs sound AMAZING. God thing you've got all summer so you can jump around a bit. (Heh. If you do follow up with #4 you'll be jumping around QUITE a bit. Heh. Heh.)
9:48 AM
fyi, i believe mormons have to give over 10% of their income back to the church. so be carefull.
I'd go for mover and/or shaker
10:29 AM
Definitely mormon commercials. Definitely.
11:16 AM
Maybe they have an opening at the Louisa Mae Alcott house this summer...you can get some needlepoint done, etc......
11:28 AM
porn set fluffer! porn set fluffer! think of all the material for the blog! think of your readers, desperate to live vicariously through you! :-P
11:34 AM
YOU KNOW, I CAN TOTALLY ARRANGE FOR YOU TO POUR SOME CONCRETE IN MY ABSENCE!!
12:34 PM
If you go to work for a bookstore, then you can buy books from me! That would be fun, except for the part where you get paid $8 an hour. In that case, go with the Mormon thing, because it's always fun to hear them try and come up with alternatives to real swears. Fiddlesticks!
12:45 PM
Does #7 go strictly in combination with #8? I hope so, because if you're actually thinking of being a mover (as in, a furniture mover), I just have to say, NO. (After all, I think everyone's worst day is moving day, and for movers, that is EVERY day. The horrors.)
1:24 PM
I am giggling. Again. Stop it, you giggler causer. I'm not so sure I would like number 4 though. It's not like there's mutual fluffing, you know?
1:49 PM
#11 - Podcast Producer/Talent Wrangler
(if chris doesn't tell you, our first effort is up)
1:54 PM
I think perhaps instead of porn star fluffer, you should consider the world of internet fetish modeling.
I totally saw an ad for armpit porn on Craigslist last week. How hard could that be? Also squicky.
I'm more of the foot model type.
3:10 PM
meg- I know, huh? you'd be an awesome fluffer with your baby belly!
Kell- yeah, that's not a pretty picture for anyone involved. ha!
moogan- really? Screw that. If I'm going to get rich off religion, I'm not sharing that with anyone. NPW=the next Ron Hubbard.
I sass- Do you remember them? The ones where they were making pizza for old people and singing songs? God, I loved those commercials.
Anon- hahaha I could make another latch hook rug, like in 7th grade.
lara- Now, now. I'm sure you too can get a fluffer job. I'll set it up for you.
Lex- I'm sure you can. Can you imagine what a huge-tastic mess I'd make?
Noelle- $8 an hour sounds like a fair price to pay to not work with children. Although, I'm sure there are plenty of children to be found in a bookstore in the summer... if I became a Mormon, do you think they'd make me wear the special underwear just to film the commercial?
Stef- Moving is not the funnest thing ever, no... but I would get totally buff doing it!
CDM- I know, I keep picturing it like in Love Actually, where the porn stars are giggly innocents that fall in love. In reality, it'd probably be more like nasty Ron Jeremy filming Pocahotass II: The Quest for a Native.
Mike D- Congrats! I would love to be a producer. Unfortunately, Chris never even really told me what it's about and I'm afraid your gaming skills have surpassed mine. I'm still stuck on the Nintendo DS.
W- Gross! Armpit porn! GROSS!
10:23 AM
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