A Day in the Life Of

As a librarian, you'd think my day would be filled with fun tasks such as cataloging books, arranging things according to the Dewey decimal system, and shushing people. Instead, I find myself in these outlandish situations. Take, for example, my latest trials and tribulations.

Let me set the scene for you: a middle school library straight out of the 70's. I'm talking orange rugs and pink walls. Zoom in on a large-ish salt water fish tank installed adjacent to the circulation computer. The fish tank is teeming with hideous marine life including 5 repulsive spider crabs, that will hereby be referred to by me as "nightmares of the sea". The water filter that keeps these underwater beasts alive is spraying salty ocean directly into my computer monitor. A half hour was spent yesterday attempting (and failing) to prevent my computer from becoming water-logged.

A quick check on the tank revealed that most of the furry crustaceans were scrabbling about at the bottom of the tank. There was, however, a small contingent of rebel crabs climbing the faux lighthouse. Mildly worrying. They seemed to be readying themselves for a coup.

Cut to today: the library is on Orange Alert with the crab watch. When I looked this morning, the crabs are twice as large as yesterday. Is there some radiation leak? Are they eating the other fish? Do they simply thrive on the positive learning environment I provide? I know not. But I do know this: they will soon be big enough to knock the cover right off the tank and take the school by force. I've brought in my bow. I'm prepared.

If this is my last post, know that I went down fighting.